Five Months in Retrospect

One of the benefits of a blog is the ability to freely write and feel relief. As such, I am impressed to take a moment and reflect on the past 5 months of my life.

In July 2010, I knew this much:

I considered myself a fairly strong person. Happy. Career-driven. Caring. Perfectionistic. While I thought I was a well-balanced individual, in hindsight, I was easily a 'work-a-holic'. Though somewhat imperfect in some elements, life was good (as the infamous trademark would say).

On July 27, 2010 this drastically changed.

Life became ... harder. Though at first I tried to be strong and "push through", my health slowly caught up to me. Food became the enemy. My energy was the next to go. The term "spiraling downward" was a literal reality. During the next five months, I became very familiar with the healthcare system I have been studying to "improve".

Within the months I experienced:

-2 ER visits (Ohio and New Hampshire)

-Upper Endoscopy

-Ultrasound

-CT Scan (with contrast!)

-HIDA Scan

-Colonoscopy

-Gallbladder Surgery

Along with several various doctor appointments and 'diagnoses'.

Now, it is interesting how your view on life changes when you are unable to successfully live it for long periods of time. There are moments of: "why me?", "I give up", "Tomorrow will hopefully be better" and "tears". But no matter how I look at it, I am a better and even stronger person because of the past 5 months and all the moments, thoughts and feelings that were associated with them.

What have I learned? About life...myself...happiness? A lot.

But here are a few key elements...

As of January 2011, this is my new outlook and thoughts on my life:

1. You cannot live your life alone. Or even think you can. It is when you are at your weakest that you realize that you must count on others to pull you through. And when you are your highest, you must act as that bolstering effect to those around you.

2. When you think you are at your lowest....it can still get lower. To quote Jane from Disney's Tarzan: "Well it can't get any worse can it? ... Why yes, yes it can."

3. Life can never be solely defined by your occupation. Ever.

4. You must 'let your inner child out to play'. Often.

5. I have more willpower than I realize. (Giving up gluten for 5 months will do that to you.)

6. Fear and anxiety are real. And should not just be "pushed aside" as a 'little thing'.

7. After getting sick, chronically, you learn who your 'true' friends are.

8. I have complete empathy for anyone with a food allergy or special dietary concern. COMPLETE empathy.

9. Happiness is not solely defined. It is a VERY complex emotion.

10. Persistence is a trait that I should never forget. (Especially during my long haul of getting a Ph.D.).

No matter how many lessons I learned, the most important thing is that I have been improved as a person. Were the past five months some that I never want to relive? Yes. But am I glad they happened? Yes. We can only grow when we have been pushed to our lowest.

For those that have stood by me during this time. Thank you. Words cannot express my appreciation. I hope this song summarizes my feelings however...

Winter has arrived in Cleveland

It's a good thing that Amazon liked me enough to ship my boots early! I was a little hesitant of buying boots online, but I think they turned out alright.

So of course I had to take the boots out on a test run. Two shots below from "Little Italy" -- where I currently live. They play italian Christmas music in the streets right now. Think Josh Groban + opera, that is mostly what it sounds like. But I love how all the little shops have all their cute Christmas lights up and window displays. Somehow makes the holidays more bearable.

Next stop: Christmas in Utah.

Jo Comes to Cleveland.

Jo came to visit me this past July. I LOVED having her here. Below are some tidbits from our adventures...

Lanterns at the N.K. Whitney Store in Kirtland, OH.

It's the leaf heart!

Yay macrophotography.

At Kirtland. I love this picture of Jo inside the N.K. Whitney Store.

BEAUTIFUL skies at the Indians game. Cleveland is known for freaky weather and awful sport teams (now that Lebron is gone). It is something that doesn't necessarily break my heart.

On our way to the Cleveland Indians game.

Rockin' out at the Cleveland History of Rock and Roll Museum. It kind of reminds me of the glass pyramids at the Louvre. Not that I've ever been there...

I got to meet the original Randy. He was trying to be all cool and wear converses too... But really, he is just super old.

We found "The Christmas Story" house. Yes. It is in Cleveland. It might just be our one claim to fame.

Enjoying the sites of the falls.

The falls. From the NY side. If I had a passport, you can bet your bottom I would have been viewing them from Canada.

Just getting off the Maid of the Mist. Note the super wet hair.

Many many pictures were taken at the falls. It was so sunny but so windy at the same time!

I made it to Niagra Falls. First time in New York and first time at the falls. It was definitely a "bucket list" moment in my life.

Jo and I at Mentor Headlands.... Cleveland's version of the "beach". Really it's just Lake Erie, but we can pretend that it is something amazing, right?

A Year in Photos

As I recollect on my life this past year, I have come to one conclusion: 2009 was definitely the BIGGEST year of my life. Wow.

January:

I spent the end of 2008 and early 2009 in sunny California with my friend and roommate, Kerianna. I had amazing times with her family and still miss her, as she is on her mission til July 2010.

February:

Along with saying goodbye to Kerianna for her mission, I spent a majority of this month interviewing at graduate schools. For my own sake I am glad that I didn't keep track of how

many flights I was on during all of 2009... Is there such a thing as too much air time? Shown below: One of my favorite shots from Brown University.

March:

Undoubtedly the "BIGGEST" month of the year. Baby Alyssa was born (so cute!), Matt and Deedee were married in the Logan Temple, Mom and Dad officially got divorced and I picked Case Western Reserve as my graduate school! Clearly...not enough pictures to show the fun that occurred this month!

April/May:

A "breather"... I found an apt. to live in my first year in Cleveland and said goodbye to family and friends in Utah. Sold my beloved yellow jeep wrangler for a white toyota corolla. While I graduated in Dec. 2008, I picked up the official "degree" through the right of passage this month too.

June/July:

Made the big move to Cleveland. Started work in the lab under the mentorship of Dr. Jeff Capadona. Learned how to overcome my "fear" of working with animals. Started exploring Cleveland.

August:

Quick trip back out to Utah to see Mom get re-married to Jim! :) Started my official graduate work at Case Western. (I feel so old!)

September:

I became a graduate student! Data included!

October:

Played Mad Scientist and survived through Halloween. Clearly...only cheap grad students use lab gear for their costumes...

November:

Made a trip out to see Dad at his new place in New Hampshire. First time ever visiting New England. All I can say is: "Holy Hills Batman!" Further, I enjoyed my first "concert"...like EVER. Glorious Gary Allan. (and Jack Ingram...and Eli Young Band)... :o)

December:

WICKED!!!! I finally saw a musical LIVE! It was amazing. Cleveland actually has art. And real night life. And then of course, I made it full circle ending up back in Utah to spend time with friends and family.

....Here's hoping for a less stressful year in 2010!

Christmas in Utah!

I made the trip back from Cleveland to have a 2 week visit with my fellow Utah peeps! What should be waiting for me at the airport but a "Welcome Home Brigade". When I got there, everyone asked me where I served my mission. (Only in Utah....). :)

What trip home would be complete without a stop at Temple Square. Divinely inspired, the place was covered with red and white lights. Below: Matt and I showing off the red tree. (Note: This does not compare to the awesomeness at Temple Square last year. We are missing 2 of the original 4.)

For those of you who know me a little, it probably doesn't surprise you that I won't back down from a dare. Matt: "It would be great if you would just shove this whipped cream in your mouth." Me: "Okay. Just don't get it on my shirt." Below is the result.

Another goal of the trip home was to get an amazing photo of my mom and stepdad Jim. Needless to say, I think that I succeeded.

The cooking crew. College kids can do one thing well, all huddle in the kitchen and pray that something they throw together in the bowl will have an appealing taste. :)

New Year's celebrations to follow... :)

A snapshot of what I do...well, kind of.

I have become a "professional" brain surgeon over the course of the summer here at graduate school. Well, not really....but at least that is something cool to add to the resume, right?

We study the immune response to microelectrodes (that are inserted into the brain). Below is one of my favorite images that I have taken of the biological response to these probes. Gotta love the pretty pictures.

I present my research for the first time this Thursday. Which makes me beg the question: HAVE I REALLY SURVIVING IN CLEVELAND 4 MONTHS NOW? WOW!

A Free Stamp

Life in the "Cleve" is going great! I have had some chances to go and see the town with other members of the single's branch (church peeps) out here. Here are some shots from recent adventures.

We recently did "The Amazing Race - Cleveland" for Family home evening. Task #1: Find the Rock and Roll Musuem and get your groove on. Our song: 'Going to the chapel'.

Task #2: Pose in front of Severance Hall. (ie. the hall that the Cleveland Orchestra plays at).

Task #3: Find the "Free Stamp". Why people in Cleveland call this art is beyond me!

5 girls in a car can lead to interesting times. We were driving to the stake tubing activity about 2 hours away. If I was a pedo-phobe this might have been an issue.

Meagan and I waiting in line for Transformers 2. Despite massive amounts of humidity...I somehow still manage to keep my hair fairly straight...